My mom is home and our BFN….

First, I want to thank everyone for all the prayers, comments, emails, and calls. My family and I greatly appreciate your support as it helped us get through the toughest weekend we have had in quite awhile. I am happy to report that my mom was finally able to come home today and recover in her home with my dad and of course her beloved animals. Even in the toughest of times she asked about her animals to make sure we were taking good care of them. Good old mom!

Overall the surgery went well, it was only afterwards when all hell broke loose and she started to bleed uncontrollably. Unfortunately, she does have a blood disorder and doesn’t produce enough platelets to clot her blood and after opening her again after surgery, doing transfusions (blood & platelets), special protocols, pushing on her wound, etc….they finally have her stabilized 4 days later. We are praying and crossing our fingers and toes that the worst for now is behind us. She still has one heck of a fight ahead and we are prepared to take it step by step and do whatever it takes to conquer her blood disorder and then cancer. Again, I am so proud of my mom and can’t help but smile when I see her crack jokes even though she is in pain. I used to think I was my fathers daughter, but after this weekend, I think I am truly my mothers daughter.

Now to the BFN – THE BIG FAT NEGATIVE (but I am sure you could use other words…I have! )

Eric and I were really hoping that we could bring some good news to my family this weekend, especially to my mom as she has wanted grandkids now for 5+ years. However, we don’t always get what we want and this weekend (on Easter as it always seems to happen on holidays for us) we learned that our ivf attempt failed. Yes,  it sucks, it’s not fair, it’s confusing, frustrating, upsetting, etc…. But, while I was in my mom’s hospital room trying to tell her the news, I couldn’t help but tear up. She grabbed my hand and said it would be ok, and looking back at her fighting for life I really yelled at myself for getting upset. What gets me through these agonizing times of infertility is to really think about who has it bad…their is always someone who has it worse!

Look out St Thomas here we come! 

I did plan our ivf cycle around our upcoming trip to St Thomas for our friends wedding. I did it on purpose incase it didn’t happen so I could let loose and forget all this “stuff” for awhile. Even though the shots caused me some bloating and I had to give up hard exercise this lady still plans to get in a bathing suit and enjoy the sun, sand, ocean and a few beverages!

What’s Next? 

Eric took action today and scheduled us a follow-up appointment on Thursday with Dr. Wakim and warned the nurse we need a lot of time with him as our list of questions are quite long. He also setup an appointment with our first reproductive clinic for a second opinion to see what they would do based on our results. We will either attempt another cycle with our 3 frozen embroys and ask for assisted hatching or go another full round with RHS. I also plan to ask if my immune system can kill the embroys and after that, I think I am out of all the possible tests they can try on us. If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know as my researching relationship with Dr Google has reached its max.

 

Thanks again for everyone’s support!

Have a great week!

 

Amie

The not so fun post…

This post and I have been fighting now for several days and it won last night when it failed to save after I shut my laptop lid. Lesson learned? Probably not.  So, here goes my third or fourth time trying to write a post that I have been avoiding. After getting my sister and my mom’s approval, I decided to fill everyone in on what has been going on in our family’s life. A few weeks ago, while doing our pre-testing for ivf we learned that my brother-in-law (Jenny’s husband) has a brain tumor. During his second surgery a week later my mom found out that she has breast cancer. However, they hid it from us until after his surgery and waited to tell us on a weekend giving us time to gather our composure before going to work. They are firm believers that when you go to work, you leave all the other emotions and feelings at home and you do your job. I am thankful my parents taught us at a young age to work hard but I hate to tell them, we all worry and think of personal things now and then at work and mom and dad you won’t be the exception! Your just going to have to face the facts that we love you both and worry as much as you worry about us!

The nasty tumor…

After complaining of headache’s my brother-in-law went to the doctor and they completed an MRI. The results came in and his Doctor told him he has a brain tumor. I can’t even imagine receiving that news, especially when they don’t follow it up with more details other than referring you to another Doctor, oh and you have to wait a few days for that appointment. They did an awesome job at trying to distract themselves from the nasty tumor, and from thinking the bad thoughts that we all think when stuff like this happens. How can you not think of the worst scenario and only the best scenario when you are giving information like this? It’s a mental battle and they did an awesome job at staying positive.

After meeting with the new Doctors it was decided that they would do the smaller surgery first to see if they could remove the majority of the tumor by going through his nose. After the surgery they had good results but the Doctor felt he needed to remove more so they scheduled the major surgery, a Craniotomy. They would temporarily remove a bone flap to access the brain and remove as much of the tumor as possible. Prior to surgery they had to learn all the risks factors and I am sure you could imagine how hard that meeting was. But, they held strong and moved forward with surgery. I was so happy to learn that the surgery went well and that they were able to remove the majority of the tumor, that it isn’t cancerous and that my brother-in-law came out a fighter with one nasty looking wound. They are now back at home and he has a long recovery and many appointments ahead of him as one of the side effects from the tumor is his loss of vision in one eye. We are hoping and praying that it will be restored over time and that the endocrinologist can help balance the hormones that created this nasty tumor on his pituitary.

The awful C-word

Receiving that “phone call”, the one that delivers bad news is never easy.  Eric just got home from Brazil and we were spending our Sunday morning on the couch watching the news as we were planning our day and week as we were starting ivf on Tuesday. My cell phone rang and I happily picked up and then I heard my dad’s voice. It only took me one second to learn it was bad and as he tried to put words together I immediately started to break down. He delivered the news that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I don’t even remember the details of the conversation other than crying a lot during that call, especially when my mom got on the phone. After getting off the phone, I immediately checked in with my sisters.

Margarita?

I stopped drinking awhile ago due to preparing for ivf with an occasional sip of beer or wine from Eric’s glass. But that day after hiking I was craving a margarita…the sour, salty, yummyness that would take all the ache away. I was trying to convince Eric to go but we had so many other things to get done that I forgot about it as soon as we arrived home. I checked in with my twin sister Heather to see how she was doing and she was out with a friend getting margarita’s. The instant I told Eric, we were off to get one too! It’s a twin story that I had to share and even though we are far away from each other we still have the twin instinct…or maybe it is the Banis instinct of having a drink once in awhile when times are tough.

The road ahead

My mom is currently diagnosed with stage two breast cancer and will have a mastectomy on Thursday. She also has a blood disorder she has been battling for years which she doesn’t produce enough platelets, so we are praying her infusion prior to surgery will keep her healthy and strong! After surgery we will have a lot to learn and I am happy to hear that my dad and mom will be seeking second opinions on her health and blood disorder! Dr. Goggle and I have been researching and have been preparing for quite some time for this day and we are ready to jump in with ideas when she is ready.

As for Eric and I, we did have our embryo transfer on Monday and we will know April 9th if our two “beans” made it. It’s the longest two week wait ever! I will post more about the entire process and the very neat transfer next week. It wasn’t an easy decision to do ivf but we are so happy that we did.

On Thursday if you have a moment, please say a prayer for my mom and our entire family, we would greatly appreciate it!

Thank you!

~Amie

February Pre-Testing for IVF – complete!

I am finally finding downtime to blog, which feels nice and I plan to post a few catch-up posts over the next several days. We ended our last post with our decision to do ivf and we haven’t looked back.  We started with our mandatory ivf orientation which was on February 6, 2012. At the orientation we learned from our Doctor the details of the process, the pre-testing requirements and the potential scary disqualifying results that could keep you from moving to the next steps. As couples started asking questions, I became very thankful that our only known problem was that I have endometriosis. It seemed like many people had much bigger things to worry about and I pray for them.

As soon as our Doctor was done presenting his assistant came up to walk us through our pre-testing binder which I already scanned while sitting in the room and mentally checked offed items as we did them already. We figured that we did so much testing that they won’t have us do it again…oh were we wrong!

Since it was over three months from some our tests they wanted us to complete everything again. So, the entire month of February Eric and I were running into the city of Pittsburgh to complete our testing.

Our list:

• Bloodwork & Ultrasound on day 3 of my period (Yes, it’s no fun)
• Sonohystegram (uterine cavity evaluation & physical) – I think this was my fourth time!
• Male Evaluation (bloodwork and seaman analysis) – Eric’s 3rd time
• Contact insurance and pharmacies to see what medications are covered – I swear this was the hardest part of pre-testing!
• Pre-IVF Physician’s conference – review findings, receive medical protocol, review insurance and pay
• Pick-up injectable binder and review medications
• Watch a DVD on how to inject myself with hormones

Due to Eric’s trip to Brazil for his MBA we had to schedule our ivf cycle for the middle of March. So, we finished our testing, organized our paperwork and marked the dates on our calendar for “go” time.  Now it was time to relax…or so we thought!  More to come tomorrow….

Done with trying naturally…

I go through spurts on posting on my blog. I have been wanting to write so many times but choose to do my freelance design work in the evenings, instead of taking time for some much needed emotional therapy. When I come to the computer it is typically to check FB quick to see what everyone else is up to, freelance, or look up anything I can on infertility, thyroid, endometriosis, diet etc… At times I wish I didn’t have a computer or the internet. Yes, it is convenient but it also can create more emotional stress and heartache than good. My husband helped me the other night by telling me about a few statistics on Facebook/Social Media – that they are causing depression and I can’t help but agree. People go out on Social Media and share everything wonderful and great in their lives. It’s hard not to compare yourself to everyone…well so-and-so has a family, goes on vacation, is always happy, has an amazing job, works out a lot, and never has a freaking bad day in their life! Ok, I don’t mean to push the point too much because I do see a lot of good in FB/Social Media too but it can be addicting and depressing at times. Plus, I’m learning how not to subscribe to things that might be annoying to me (great feature). I plan to keep FB/Social Media accounts but Eric did take it off my phone and I am learning that it saves me a lot more time in my day by staying away from it!

So, what’s new with us…

Our plan to try naturally thru January since my diagnosis/treatment of endometriosis was a bust. So, once January hit I was back in full force making things happen since “relaxing” and diving into my new job didn’t seem to do the trick!

In January I called the office and requested the last three tests that we could possibly research and think of:

Test 1: MTHFR (methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase) – thank you Shawna for recommending it to us! 

What is is:  an enzyme/protein that is used to activate folic acid, a crucial B vitamin for pregnancy.  In certain cases, the MTHFR gene does not activate the folic acid to it’s full capacity: heterozygous MTHFR carriers activate folate at 60-70%; homozygous carriers only activate folate at 10%.  Among the more common are mutations called C677T and A1298C, with the former often called the more problematic of the two. A person can be either heterozygous or homozygous for either or both of these MTHFR gene mutations.

Result: I tested positive  as a carrier for heterozygous A1298C gene mutation.

Response: Our centers Hematologist no longer wants to see patients who test positive for MTHFR. That they do not find it conclusive for infertility.

My Response: Thanks for letting me take the test and now worry about something you don’t treat! I of course jumped on the internet and searched MTHFR and found several infertility forums with women taking baby aspirin, L-methylfolate, and B6 and B12 to think their blood and convert Folic Acid properly. Oh…and they were getting pregnant. Many of these women suffer infertility or suffer a lot of miscarriages.

Our Action: So, after pacing and talking to Eric I decided to blast an email to my friend Heather who sent it off to Dr. Pompa. After reading my email he confirmed that I am not converting “folic acid” properly (even though I’m getting a lot through prenatals and my diet) and that it is estimated that 15% of the population can’t convert folic  acid  to the methyl form which is the active form that gets into the cell. I asked if I could just supplement with L-methylfolate, B6, B12 and a Baby Aspirin separately but he discourages it as you need the balance of taking them together becuase if taken individually over time it can cause a functional deficiency.  He recommended MORS (Systemic Formulas) as  it has the methyltetrahydro form for this reason and Dr Morris the developer put a lot of time into the balancing this formula. So, I am now giving it a try! I have been on it for two weeks and hope it does some good.

Let me Vent: My reproductive/endocrinologist cares about 1 thing. To get me pregnant. When I talked to my Doctors Assistant about MTHFR and my mom’s history she advised me to go seek a Hematologists opinion as their center and hematologist related to infertility is not concerned. So, when I worry about the medications I am on for my thyroid, my endomeitriosis, or blood disorders they are not concerned about my overall health…just the health of my uterus, ovaries and the ability to get pregnant. Yeah, it sucks!

 

Test 2: Progesterone (retest)

Result: Normal

My Response: Bummer. I hate to be honest and blunt so look away if you don’t like reading “women” stuff. Since moving to Pittsburgh my cycle has been “off”. I can’t understand how I had normal cycles in Seattle and once I move to Pittsburgh all hell breaks loose. Was it the heavy metal detoxing? Is it the environment? Or, is it my body saying “kiss it” you should have never moved from a place you loved? Spotting 7-10 days before my period is not right…I don’t need an expert to tell me that. How to fix it…I don’t have a flipping clue!

 

Test 3: Hashimoto’s

Result: Waiting

This is the last test that I requested. Will they do anything if I have it? Probably not. For those of you who don’t know what it is, it is an autoimmune disease in which the thyroid gland is gradually destroyed by a variety of cell and antibody-mediated immune processes. It was the first disease to be recognized as an autoimmune disease. It was first described by the Japanese specialist Hashimoto Hakaru in Germany in 1912. (Wikipedia).

Once I get the results I will post more info about the condition.

 

So, with all this said thanks for listening. Next Step: IVF HERE WE COME!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Laparoscopy Surgery for Endometriosis

Laparoscopy Surgery for diagnosing Endometriosis was a SUCCESS and I am feeling AMAZING both physically and emotionally! My parents just left today and they did a great job of taking care of me, my house and Lucy. They know me well enough, so they cleaned and did laundry before they left so I couldn’t even try to attempt it. Now, I am relaxing on the couch getting ready to do a little work, bible study, research, and watch a few chick flicks in between walking around for exercise.

Prior to Surgery:

Monday night I went to bed after doing the Enema that I spoke briefly about in my last post. I am only bringing it up for those who have to do it, it’s not bad at all. Make it humorous not stressful or it won’t be easy to complete. Once I did my “to-do” sheet from my Doctor I passed out in bed and woke-up to three alarms at 4:45 to make sure I wasn’t late to the hospital. I was determined not to be late as I couldn’t wait for this procedure because I just knew this would give us the answers we have waitied so long to receive! I just knew it!

Surgery:
At 6:00 am we arrived at Magee-Womens Hospital. After filling out the paperwork and going through my health history I had a 1.5 hr wait until surgery. They took me back right away so I could “hurry up and wait”. Once I was changed and in my bed, my parents got to come back and hang with me. My mom of course made funny remarks to keep me in good spirits and my dad I could tell was nervous. The next step was meeting the team of Doctors and  the Anesthesiologist who would be in my room with me, go over the procedure again, sign the form, and be setup with an IV. About 20 minutes later I was off to surgery. The Doctors Assistant (I wish I knew her name), made me feel so much better before I said good night. She held my hand and looked me in the eyes and asked if I was ready and I said “YES, I can’t wait to get this over with!” She smiled and assured me one last time I was in good hands.

Coming out of anesthesia was tough. I woke-up while they where wheeling me to the recovery room and immediately asked what they found. I faintly remember her telling me that I had endometriosis. After that, I remember not feeling well, the Nurse taking over  for the Doctors which left, and then my body started to shake uncontrollably with my teeth chattering. I started to panic as the nurse went back and forth around my bed to hook me up to monitors and once the shaking stopped she started to ask me a lot of questions. She laid me down because my pulse dropped extremely low but my blood pressure was fine, asked if I had heart palpitations which I did and then called for an EKG.  10 minutes later after the EKG I was feeling much better but now I had to wait for Cardiology to make their appearance, as I wasn’t allowed to leave until they got to see me. Two or so hours later Cardiology met with me and deemed me healthy and athletic and then moved me into phase 2 of my recovery. My parents finally got to see me and were relieved as they were not told much about what was going on. After I got dressed I was wheeled out and received my next set of instructions.

Endometriosis, what’s next?

Leaving the hospital I felt sore and tired but I was finally SATISFIED and HAPPY! Almost 4 years later, after working with several doctors, researching and being pushy WE HAD ANSWERS! I can’t stress it enough, you are your own advocate! Doctors, Specialists, Family Members, Friends are all wonderful people with different backgrounds, experiences and opinions. If you don’t feel it in your gut that you are 100% satisfied then do your homework and continue to move on until YOU DO!

MY RESULTS:

I have moderate endometriosis and NEVER HAD A LOT OF SYMPTOMS, which is why none of the several Doctors I met with pushed for this test.  They found it above my uterus, below my uterus, on ligaments and on my ovary. They burnt all areas of the endometriosis to get rid of it temporarily, as it can grow back.  They removed an endometiran (blood filled cyst) on my left ovary, removed a cyst on my right tube, and checked all my organs and the inside and out of my uterus. They flushed my tubes with dye for the 5th time to confirm my tubes are open, and they smoothed out my uterus getting rid of things that looked like polyps. They will know what they were once the pathology test comes back. Lastly I have scar tissue around my appendix but they said my appendix looked healthy so they left it alone.

For the next two weeks I am to take it easy and recover. On October 13th I will go back for my Post-op and we will discuss a game plan for the next 6 months. The next 6 months to 1 year are very important as my fertility chances are higher before any of the endometriosis can grow back. Whatever the Doctor recommends we are behind him 100%.

RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS:

Don’t be afraid to share your story and meet people who are going through the same thing. Keeping things bottled up is only asking for an explosion of emotions and isn’t good for your health or your family. Plus, you would be amazed at what you will learn from other people in your same situation. Thanks again to my dear friend Laura for reaching out to me and sharing her story. She too went through Laparoscopy after pushing her Doctor for the test. They didn’t want to do it either as she didn’t have the symptoms. Less than 1 year after the procedure she was blessed with a baby boy.

Do your research. Ignoring or hiding from the situation isn’t going to make it better, I know it is easier sometimes but be proactive. It wasn’t an easy read due to the sadness of what she experienced, but I highly recommend, “The Infertility Survival Handbook” by Elizabeth Swire Falker. When you think you have it bad you quickly learn that someone else has it worse. Elizabeth is very well educated and makes sure to tell you the truth about: the success rate of fertility clinics, keeping your marriage intact, what kind of doctor you need and how not to go broke. Her tag line: Beating the odds and surviving. Her book does a great job walking you through every procedure, including laparoscopy and gave me the drive to push for answers. Thank you Elizabeth!

A few other great websites that explain endomeitriosis:

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/living-well-endometriosis-what-you-can-do

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/endometriosis-animation

To end, I just want to remind everyone again that you don’t have to have any symptom’s to have endometriosis. I didn’t have any symptom’s but a little spotting and was told several times by my gyno and other reproductive doctors that I don’t have it. Of course they prefer not to put people through surgery as it is risky but going years with it undiagnosed or not treated can be risky too. For me the surgery wasn’t bad at all and my three incisions are healing fast. HOWEVER, I think my belly button will look different. They went through my belly button and looking at the stitches I am on the fence if it will look better or worse once is heals. I am hoping for better :o)

Great things are ahead. We now have an answer so it’s time for a baby and if no baby, we always have adoption. We will have a baby one way or another!

Pre-Surgery Nerves

Wow, surgery is almost here and I am finally feeling the nerves. Last week was such a busy week that I didn’t have too much time to think about it. I had to go for my Sonohysterogram procedure on Thursday (A+ results), help Eric prepare for his first business trip to India and say goodbye to him on Saturday, complete client work since I am going to be down for a few days and can’t work, clean my house because my parents will be coming to take care of me, shop, and run a 10K.

Now that the race is done, Eric is safely in India, Lucy is walked, and my house is spotless and full of groceries I can now relax which has me thinking about my surgery. I think what freaks me out is the brochure they gave me listing all the potential risks, one big one, dying. Nothing like reading instructions that say bring your “will” with you. I don’t have a will! My family knows me well enough so I think they have it covered if something were to happen. Ah! I hate thinking this way. So, time to move on….

So, what should you expect to do before a Laporoscopy? Let me tell you the lovely things I get to do tomorrow.

Tomorrow (Monday) I get to eat Breakfast, have a light lunch, and then clear liquids for dinner. My plan broth after yoga, coconut water for a snack, and water before bed. Oh, and go to bed early b/c I like eating and sleeping will take it off my mind.

Enema – I have to administer a fleet enema in the evening. I read about it, talked to friends who are nurses and laughed and got nervous all at the same time. The pointers I was told is to lay on your side to administer and be in the bathroom. I can’t wait to get this over with! I understand that they need me cleaned out but can’t I just eat a lot of prunes and drink a lot of C+ or GiRevive?  I pray this goes easy for me!

Misoprostol – I have to insert a pill vaginally before bedtime. No big deal, I have done this plenty of times while on progesterone.

Then, I get to go to bed and hopefully pass out quick so my mind doesn’t think too much about surgery. People keep asking me if I am nervous. I’m only nervous about being put under but not nervous about the surgery. I can’t wait to get it over with and learn the results. This is the last procedure that we can do before we wave our white flag and surrender to IVF and we are preparing the white flag. If something is broken or wrong then at least we will know and can deal with it.

Well, time for bed and to charge my computer. I will keep everyone posted after my surgery.

Say a small prayer Monday night or Tuesday morning for me!

Amie

Update & Hearing from a Dear Friend

Wow, I avoided my blog and thoughts of a baby for quite awhile. June was the last time I posted and probably because I was planning our trip to Europe and just praying and wishing it would happen overseas. Well, it didn’t so we move on. I actually wrote several times on my blog and never published them because they were vent sessions of tears, confusion, frustration and anger and a bit embarrassing to post, but tonight I don’t feel a pitty party coming on, just yet.

I want to catch you up on what we are up to and document my journey as I am learning that doing this blog makes it so much easier when I meet a new Doctor or technician. I can easily pull up my blog to keep them posted on everything we have done so far as it all can blur together.  Plus, I really hope someone else who is going through the same thing can learn something from my experience or even reach out to me, as you do feel alone sometimes when everyone seems to be pregnant around you.

Since June I started on two medications Levothyroxine for my thyroid as my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone)  levels are a bit higher than they want, putting me close to hypothyroidism. Maybe that is why I carry more weight on my belly and thighs….lol…I’m using this for a long time as an excuse!  **NEW RESEARCH! They want your TSH under a 3.0 for pregnancy as it increases your chances** Not all Doctors know this!  The other medication is Bromocriptine for slightly elevated Prolactin levels. I refused for quite awhile about taking medicine but finally gave in. As I met with my Natural Doctor (Dr. Patrick Flynn) I was hesitant to tell him about the medications and my decisions to take them. His response made me feel relief and silly for my thoughts! He said what I was thinking…that at times you need to combine medicine and natural remedies in order to solve certain problems. Yes, medical and natural doctors working together and agreeing made my day!

So, I have been on the medications for quite awhile and have been tested two times since June to make sure my levels are good, which they are. Hooray something is working! Dr. Flynn also put me on a supplemental protocol to work on my rhythm, as he said it was off. Lucky me, I get to drink two liquids that taste awful and leave people running from the kitchen as they smell bad…can you imagine how bad they taste? AWFUL! (Rehmennia and Valerian) and I take Symplex F, Hypothalmex and ExcitaPlus, 3 times a day. I have noticed some small changes which anything small or big excites me!

I also had to go back for a Hysterosalpingogram to determine for the 3rd time if my tubes are blocked. My endocrinologist (Dr. Wakim) didn’t like something on my right side of the ultrasound so he wanted to be 100% sure, as a previous test came back that the right was blocked which he thought was wrong.  As I arrived to the hospital the radiologist on duty didn’t want to do the test as she said they are opened based on the last test. I took a deep breathe and asked if we can do it one last time as the back and forth and guessing wasn’t good enough for me.  She agreed to do the test and her results…wide open! I got to see it for myself on the monitor this time!

I went back for another appointment with Dr. Wakim to find out what is next and basically he is ready any day to do another round of IUI’s or IVF. I told him to hold his horses as I am not ready and to give me until November. I also met with Dr. Flynn again and he is happy with my progress and informed me of the days to try to conceive.

Where we are today! 

Writing this blog has helped me emotionally through my journey and has allowed me to connect with friends that I haven’t spoken to in a long time. I am grateful for the support and really appreciate any messages and notes as it truly helps you stay positive. A few months ago, I received an email from a dear friend from High School who told me I was brave in blogging about my journey and also provided me with her story. I cried reading her email as she cried reading my blog and we connected again which was wonderful. She has a baby now but struggled as we did to conceive and went through very similar paths and emotions. She also did one procedure called a laparoscopy which I didn’t even approach my Doctors in trying. After speaking to her I called my Doctor’s assistant and told her that I wanted to do and if Dr. Wakim would approve the surgery. He approved the surgery and referred me to Dr. Sanfalippo. Long story short, I am scheduled next Tuesday to do a Laporoscopy Surgery and in addition Dr. Sanfalippo wants me to do another Sonohysterogram this Thursday so he can get a better look at my uterus and fibroids before doing the more intense surgery.

What does this all mean?!?

The Sonohysterogram will allow him to view my uterine cavity before the surgery to identify anything abnormal and to see if by chance he can remove any fibroids that might be causing problems with implantation. I have 3-4 small fibroids already identified that he wants to see.  The Laparoscopic Surgery will allow them to use a laparoscope or possibly a robot to make small insertions into my abdomen to view my abdominal organs and pelvic organs. It will determine if I have endometriosis, remove anything that may need removed and hopefully give us answers. In the case of my friend, they didn’t feel the surgery was necessary but after going through it she had level 3 endometriosis and had to remove her appendix. Poor thing! In the end, and many months later she was surprised and blessed with her baby. So happy for her!

The surgery is approximately 1.5 hours and will require 3-5 days of bed rest and a few weeks to feel normal. I will keep you posted on my before surgery and after surgery progress as I am leaving out one terrible thing I have to do before surgery. It will make you laugh! But, since this is getting long and it’s getting late, I should wrap up.

To end, I thank my dear friend for reaching out to me. Your strength, courage, and determination paid off and your love and support are so greatly appreciated. Thanks for educating me on your story and providing me with positive thoughts to keep trying! XOXO

PS – to all my readers. It is never too late to reach out to an old friend. It feels great to catch up and you leave off right where you used to be and with so many things to talk about.

 

 

 

 

Hysterosalpingogram…take 2.

It has been awhile since I posted as I am really trying to relax and not think about getting pregnant. It’s easier said then done…oh the mind games we play. A lot of my close friends remind us, “It’s in God’s Hands”, “let it go”….Eric and I do agree and realize it ,but yet we want so bad to be a mom and dad. I guess when you are used to working hard and doing whatever it takes, you just expect results. I feel like I play more mind games with myself and I am sure he will agree too. You lay in bed and say, “ok God it’s in your hands…BUT it would really be great if it can happen soon”. Then you want to almost take it back because you shouldn’t have even asked. This is something normal for me that I am still trying to work on.

Moving on…Eric and I decided to schedule another appointment with our reproductive specialist and endocronoligst Dr. Wakim. Did I tell you how cute he is? He is an older gentleman (probably late 60’s) who is greek and he sits in his office chair drinking diet soda. It takes everything in my power not to say something about how bad it is for him. Serioulsly…Dr. Wakim have regular coca-cola as it would be better for you or better yet, I should bring you some Zevia!  Ok, so I chickened out and said it on my blog. Going back into his office I wasn’t expecting much only for him to say…”Amie it’s time for IVF”. We sat down and as he looked at my file I prayed to God and said please don’t say IVF, please just figure out what is wrong and give me something else we can do. Thank you God! My prayer was answered but I can’t say I was immediately thrilled.

Dr. Wakim looked up and said back in December when he ran blood work and an ultrasound they noticed that my right side might be blocked. That the ultrasound turned up with something on my right side. This is the same side where I already did one Hysterosalpingogram and one Sonohysterogram. I was shocked for several reasons and I am sure Eric was too!  ONE  he told me the two tests prior to my ultrasound it wasn’t blocked and that it never was. TWO why in the heck didn’t he call me back in December? The only call I got was to take bromocryptine for slightly elevated prolactin levels. My chest pounded a bit, my eyes watered a bit and I wanted to say something but I let Eric ask the questions. I think Dr. Wakim knew I was upset because he started to find ways to make me smile. I let go of the past and started to ask a few questions too….especially the one I was scare of most, what if it is blocked? During the procedure they go in with a catheder and inject dye and air. They move the catheder as far as they can toward the fallopion tube and even up farther if they can, to push through anything that might be blocking it, such as scar tissue. I believe they might even add a second procedure to see if they can unblock it but that is a little blury to me. If they can’t unblock it and it is in the middle chances are they have to tie my tube. I’m not jumping to conclusions because I am now a seasoned infertility patient who knows better, but I just like to learn and understand what may be next.

So, right now I have to wait for my next day 1 of my period to schedule the not so fun test.  Tomorrow I go for bloodwork and he will test my TSH levels and prolactin to see if I need to take Bromocryptine or anything else. He explained that the newest research shows that TSH levels that are near 2 and 2.5 are better for fertility. Last time mine were at 3 so he might see about lowering it. Also, due to my spotting he is going to let me go back on progesterone for a cycle or 2 after he gets my blood work back. Progesterone made me feel better in the past and stopped my spotting which made me feel normal.

All in all, I am happy and yet nervous from our appointment. I’m not putting all my eggs in 1 basket as I am still working with another Natural Doctor, Dr. Patrick Flynn. Dr. Flynn provided me with a protocol that is supposed to help with getting my rhythm back to my cycle and I meet with him again in about 2 weeks. He is very knowledgeable and has helped so many people  get pregnant and I am grateful in having him help Eric and I. I will be posting about him very soon!

To end…I really want to give love to all my friends who are pregnant. Please don’t feel that you can’t tell me or that I will be upset. I won’t lie, I will be a little jealous and may shed some tears but I am so happy inside. To meet mini-friends is so much fun! Plus I love holding babies! This journey that Eric and I are on is for a reason and we accept it. :o)

Last but not least…yes of course my mind wonders why my tube may be blocked. My competitive and athletic side has taken a lot of hard hits and I won’t be surprised if it is scar tissue. Trust me some nights I lay in bed wondering what I may have hit pretty hard to cause it…a big hit during a game, getting kicked in the back, or moving furniture and ramming myself with a table into the wall…all of them are up for consideration. If I do only have one tube left I have a feeling I may become a wuss…I hope not! :o)

Thanks everyone for letting me vent.

Amie

Learning to Relax.

Wow, it has been quite awhile since I posted…time goes by way to fast! I received an email this morning from a woman who has read my blog and her encouragement really helped me, as I was feeling a little down and woke up thinking about kids. I babysat last night for a friend and spending time with the kids playing, doing homework, and reading before bed was so enjoyable, but of course it had me thinking and wondering if we were ever going to have a baby. Her email and my feelings this morning brought me back to blogging! Writing seems to be the best therapy for me and this morning I need it!

The title of my post is “Learning to Relax” and that is what I have been doing since I resigned from my job of running seminars for Health Centers of the Future. It was not an easy decision for me as this business became my “baby”…I put a lot of time, passion and drive into the business and when you join a start-up and watch it grow, it’s never easy to walk away. Plus, I love the people in the business, the doctors we serve and the mission of educating clinics/practitioners. So, yes, the decision was difficult and the thought of not working was very scary and uneasy for me! I always worked and had a job and desire the satisfaction of contributing to our family. It is the way I was raised and a little of my competitiveness that “I can do it”. Saying “no” is just not a word that I use too much, which also gets me in trouble!

After many days of talking to my husband and being reassured that we would be ok, I resigned. Poor Eric! It took many conversations for me to finally let it sink in that it is ok to take a break and that relaxing and focusing on myself might just work (along with a few other things)!  We also spent time having wonderful conversations about what is important in our life and it isn’t material things, it is our relationships with our family, friends and of course our furry friends! The tsunami and earthquake in Japan really hit this point home. We have to learn to appreciate what we have (baby or not) and enjoy each other and life EVERY day!

So, a few weeks after resigning I am finally relaxing!  My body feels much more relaxed and I love to sleep! I never used to enjoy sleeping in and now Eric has to kick me out of bed. I also spend my days doing the same routine I did before, but enjoying it much more. I walk Lucy and actually take in the sights around us, I still make my husband a good breakfast, lunch and dinner but now I don’t rush around like a maniac and take time to cook and clean. I exercise and have included yoga and pilates into my routine, which has definitely helped my flexibility and circulation. S0 far I am feeling good and I am happy that I slowed down!

Don’t let me fool you, I still work but I am in control and work less hours.  Back in April I officially launched my own website as my mentor from my school PUSHED me to get my own website up so she could share my work and ability with potential clients (her friends and students). She loved the work I did for her and she wasn’t going to let me slack in creating something for myself. So, on a weekend back in April everything came to me, my name “pnhMarketing” (promoting natural health), my mission and my website. The website is up but isn’t fully completed with my work (http://www.pnhmarketing.com). I have enough clients right now to keep me busy and I plan to grow my business slowly. The thought of having a lot of work excites me but I have learned through this entire process that FAMILY is more important to me than success and business. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy but thankfully I have Eric, friends and family who are behind me, rooting us on, praying for a baby and bringing me back to what is important. Working to me is an addiction just like certain foods are to people, it takes discipline and accountability to keep me in line :o).

Thanks for letting me vent this morning. My next post will be educational and on the important topic of ph levels and acidity. Posting it soon!  Amie

Elevated Prolactin

We do have a few updates on our journey and I can’t wait to dedicate more time to my blog and helping others who may be in my same situation. Over the past few weeks I have been traveling for my Health Counseling Business, to see my sister, and now I am preparing for my very last seminar for Dr. Pompa. I am making some well needed stress reduction changes that will start in March…a new blog post coming soon!

In the interim, I do have an update! A few weeks ago I received my test results back from my thyroid panel (blood test) and my 24 hour Free Cortisol Hormone test. My cortisol test was normal and my thyroid test shows I have elevated levels of Prolactin (they tested me twice to make sure)

Please note – the following is taken from: http://www.drmalpani.com/prolactin.htm

Prolactin is a hormone that is secreted by your pituitary gland, a pea-sized gland found below the brain. Prolactin is found in both men and women and is released at various times throughout the day and night.  As the name suggests, the role of prolactin is to stimulate milk production in pregnant women. It also enlarges a woman’s mammary glands in order to allow her to prepare for breastfeeding.

Prolactin & Infertility
Prolactin doesn’t just cause your body to increase milk production – it also affects your ovulation and menstrual cycles. ( This is why women who are breastfeeding rarely get pregnant). Prolactin inhibit two hormones necessary for ovulation: follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and gonadotropin releasing hormone (GnRH). When you have high levels of prolactin in your blood ( a condition called hyperprolactinemia) , you will not ovulate and this will result in infertility. This anovulation can also cause you to have irregular cycles.

Answer = take a 1/2 pill a day of Bromocriptine until I get pregnant.

Taking a pill that has a list of side effects makes me nervous. It wasn’t the answer I was hoping for and in fact I drilled the assistant who contacted me with questions. Remember, you are your on advocate and finding the cause to me is important…taking a pill is only a short term answer and may have long term effects.

My questions to the Assistant:

What does Bromocryptine do? It helps reduce the levels of prolactin which can cause infertility.  (it also treats Parkinson’s disease…wow).

What causes high levels of Prolactin? Stress, Tumor in your Pituitary (Prolactinoma), Prescription Drugs, or other conditions that they don’t think I have.

Tumor? Is it worth testing? –  For me, my levels would have to be much higher for a tumor.

Are their any other options? A natural approach? – At this point I was pushing her buttons and she actually pushed back as she knew I was taking supplements and doing accupuncture. She said something to the effect of it may be related to something you are taking (supplements or tea) that could be causing it, could be stress, but either way you need to lower your levels in order to get pregnant.

POINT TAKEN and THANK YOU! Honestly I really thanked her as she has a very valid point about wanting to get pregnant and doing everything I can to get to that point. I do of course prefer a natural approach and plan to give myself a few more days or weeks to decide if I will take them. I filled the prescription and now I have a few calls to make and a few changes that I am working on.

In the end, I am happy that my Doctor ran the additional tests before pushing us back to IUI with hormone shots. If it wasn’t for my Hormone Panel test that I took with Dr. Pompa and our persistence for answers, my Doctor would have never ran the additional tests.

Conclusion: Stress reappears in all the tests (whether it is chemical, physical, or emotional stress) and if I don’t start making changes other than detoxing, taking supplements and trying acupuncture I don’t think I will win the battle. In the next few weeks I am working on our game plan and I may need to “throw in the towel” on a few things…surrendering is never easy but when you change your perspective on work, life, and family it makes it all worth while!

Sometimes you have to take a few steps back, before you can move forward!

More soon!

Amie

PS – On round 3 of Heavy Metal Detox. Coming off Round 2 was AWFUL…let’s hope coming off Round 3 is better!